4:48 p.m. - August 31, 2001
Friday night plans...
Things are falling into place. I'm nervous. I don't like having to lead a double-life, but I know it is the only way. Survival. Getting my ducks in a row. Biding my time.
What am I going to say? How am I going to say it? How will he react?
I am praying for a peaceful resolution - but not planning for one. I am hoping for the best abd planning for the worst. I am not exactly sure what the worst could mean.
My heart is pounding inside of my chest and I have butterflies in my tummy. I wish I could just run away and not have to deal with any of this. But, I am ready.
Scared, but ready.
I just got off the phone with him. My sister is not feeling well and she needs help with the children. So I am going to spend the night with her tonight. He leaves for Austin, for the weekend, tomorrow morning. We won't see each other again until he gets back on Monday morning. When I told him that I was not coming home because my sister needs me, he said he was pissed. What is there to be mad about? She doesn't feel well and needs my help. She would do the same for me, if she could.
But, we have different priorities, don't we?
