Get your own
 diary at DiaryLand.com! contact me older entries

7:15 p.m. - Sep 22, 2001
The week that lasted a M-O-N-T-H
This is the week that lasted a month. And Friday was the absolute worst day of my almost 13 year career at Continental. And it was the day that I said goodbye to my husband.

But, first things first.

Last Saturday, my team had a conference call at 9:45AM (yes, on a Saturday morning). That's when we were told the news firsthand. I was so glad that my boss had the respect for each of us to tell us BEFORE it hit the presses.

Continental will lay off some 12,000 people. Our team would be impacted. She broke into tears. There was silence on the phone. Twenty people on a conference call and all that you could hear was a co-worker's child playing in the background. I hung up the phone and just felt sick. I couldn't and didn't cry, but I did pray. I prayed for strength and for grace.

Come Monday morning, back in the office, everyone was huddled in cubicles, speculating. I smoked and smoked and smoked. Many, many cigarettes. I couldn't eat and I couldn't drink coffee, but I sure could smoke. One of my employees came to me and, in a whisper, said, "Ms. Church, I want you to know that I am low man on the totem pole. I want you to know that regardless, I want to stay in touch with you." All week was like this. I got e-mails from friends I haven't talked to in a lomg time, people I worked with 6 and 7 years ago, in other departments. Everyone was sending "just in case" e-mails, with all of the personal contact information, so we could stay in touch - just in case.

We thought that we were going to hear the news on Thursday. As Thursday rolled around (or, should I say C_R_A_W_L_E_D) we found out that we wouldn't know until Friday morning. It was horrible to have to wait YET ANOTHER FREAKING day. Some departments were already finding out. The old Denver reservations office, where I worked for a year, was completely shut down. The guy that opened that office up started with CO the YEAR THAT I WAS BORN dammit. Jeezus. I was scared. I was scared for all of us. Shit was going down.

Friday morning finally arrived. Meetings were called. Everyone on my side of the 16th floor crowded into the large conference room. Dave walked in last, dressed in black from head to foot. He looked stressed and like he had had lots of sleepless nights. When Dave looks bad, you know things are bad, because Dave is always ok. He wasn't ok any longer. He gave a short speech which was very eloquent. I was proud of him in a way. Proud that I had the opportunity to work under him for a period of time. Proud that he was delivering this speech, honestly and in person to so many people. There were alot of tears. He hugged each and every person when they walked out of the room.

Then, each and every person was called into their supervisor's office, alphabetically. First on the list were two of my friends - Monica and Anastasia. Since they had different supervisors, they were both gone at the same time. They were gone for what seemed like an ETERNITY. When Monica came back, she had a job. Anastasia, unfortunately, didn't. I could NOT freakin beleive it! No fucking way. Jeezus. Within a matter of hours, several friends were without jobs. My best friend, whom I eat lunch with 4 - 5 times a week, had lost his job. This hurt. That really hurt me, deep down. Selfishly, I could only think about being without him - not being able to walk around the corner and visit him when I needed someone to talk to. Things will never be the same.

I was shocked, all day long, hearing the people that had lost their jobs. I was sick and I was just shocked. I cried all day long.

Walter called me to see if I would meet him at the bank, to remove my name from "our" account. "Our" account no longer. I expected him to be cold and devoid of emotion. I half-expected him to be downright mean or say something hurtful. On the way there, I prayed and prayed. I asked for grace and I asked for strength. We signed the necessary papers and were in & out in a matter of minutes. He asked me if I would like to have lunch together. I agreed. We sat in a quiet little place in the Heights and talked. We both ordered beers and we both smoked - heavily. We talked and we were both respectful of each other and their feelings. We cried. Both of us. Right there, int he restaurant. The waitress actuallt apologized when she walked up, to ask us if we needed anything else. We spent a good two hours togehter, laughing and crying. It was good. It was good to say goodbye. It needed to be done. I realiezd that I will always love him. I told him so. I told him that I would be honored if he would ever consider being friends with me in the future.

My heart is so broken. I am finally beginning to grieve. These are good things. Now that I know that I have a job, and that the layoffs from "Plan A" are done, I feel like I can finally stop being the cheerleader. I don't have to smile anymore when I really feel like crying. I feel like I no longer need to be strong and positive, for the sake of my employees and for my team. I feel like now I can feel. Really, really feel.

And, oh how I feel.

So much has happened in two weeks, it is just amazing. I left my husband on Monday, the United States was attacked on Tuesday, the skies were closed & the market went to shit on Wednesday & Thursday. The big layoffs were completed on Friday. And, in the midts of all this, my baby sister lost one of her babies. I pray that we are all given the strength that we need to get through all of this.

Today we had a birthday party for my nephew, Matthew. He just turned five. It was a nice diversion, to play with 25 screaming, jumping, climbing, bouncing children. God love children - they are the best thing to get your mind off of your own troubles. They have no worries.

 

 

previous - next

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at DiaryLand.com!