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8:54 a.m. - Apr. 14, 2002
All Tomorrow's Parties
The original �name� for today�s writing was �Sunday morning� (when I first sat down to write)�but my head was still so foggy from sleep that I didn�t get past opening (and naming) this piece of electronic paper. I wrote nothing, closed the document, and shut down my computer.

There was a part of me that was afraid that if I sat down in front of the computer first thing in the morning, I would never escape.

Now that it�s evening, and I am back home again, I open up this document and begin to write for the first time today. Only, when I saw the title �Sunday morning� all I could hear was Nico (not MY Nico, but Nico from the Velvet Underground). All I could hear was that thick, crackly voice singing �All Tomorrow�s Parties��

So � I was a really good girl this weekend. I didn�t take a lot of drugs OR even get left in a hotel �with two men� in Mexico.

Not that trouble didn�t call�(I just didn�t say yes.)

I took a little drive through downtown on Friday night. Didn�t know where I was going to (ok, David Bowie, get outta my head)�but I ended up with the windows down, the cool breeze blowing through my hair, and some nice Jazzy, Loungy music turned up LOUD. Can�t say it enough�I LOVE that new Koop CD. Completely fucking groove on that shit, man. Of course, I smoked a little pot before setting out�and, at some point, it just hit me�Wow, what a great night for a drive through downtown. Oh, and it was. I had quite the moment. I must say.

I came THIS CLOSE to checking out a new little place called the Hub (on Main, next door to No tsu oh), but I changed my mind. I�m really grooving on being alone right now. I�m feeling a bit anti-social and I�m ok with that. Also, I realize that I would only attract all of the wrong people for me right now. (If that sentence wasn�t pure EGO, I don�t know what is)�but, I cannot lie. I KNOW that I am not shy. I KNOW that I will talk to anyone. I know that I am a BIG flirt.

Thing is, I don�t feel healthy enough right now, to be with anyone else. I need to be with myself for awhile.

Basically, I drove around and listened to the entire Koop CD, and checked out the downtown scene. Then I drove back home, made some .bmp art, and fucked around on the computer.

Saturday morning, I went to my favorite breakfast spot � Kaldi. I didn�t really feel like eating (and everything tasted like mush), but I did enjoy having coffee, with my cigarette, out on the patio. It ended up being a nice morning, with some great weather. I love to sit there and relax, in �my� paradise alley. I decided, right then and there, that I HAD to stay outside and enjoy more of this day.

Clint and Matt were in Galveston, at Matt�s place. They were being domestic. I wasn�t feeling domestic. I wanted to go to the beach. So, I went to the beach. After breakfast at Kaldi, I ran home & threw some things in a bag, grabbed a small bit of pot, and hit the road. I held a rockin Incubus show the whole way there. I made strangers laugh. I was fuckin rockin out!

Cheers, it was a great day. Drove to the Seawall. Got a perfect parking spot. Walked along the water until I found a place that felt right. Set up a small camp and stripped down to my two-piece. I dug a sand chair, to relax in�and just generally enjoyed my time in the sand. I love sand. I think it�s absolutely magical. It has a lot of life in it. Sand is life. Oozing life through the currents of the ocean, propelled by the energy of the moon, isn�t it magical?

Sand.

I stayed a couple of hours and then drove back home. I listened to the radio on the way back. Do you ever have moments where all the songs and all the signs are all speaking directly to you? This was the kind of day Saturday was. Saturday was a good moon day for me.

I took a shower when I got home. Followed by a bath. I masturbated in the tub. I took a nap, masturbated some more, and then twice again (when I was going to sleep for the evening) Ok � I knew at this point that I was getting ready to get my period - because I was SO horny. And, being out in the sun always makes me horny. Always has.

I fell asleep last night before 10pm. I was knocked out. It was a deep, relaxing sleep, too� I know - because I had two calls that I just couldn�t motivate for. (Trouble called. I just didn�t say yes.) Jeremy called at 11pm. I was just too out of it to even care to talk. I have no idea if I was coherent or if I even spoke.

Sometime after 2am, Charlie called. I remember mumbling and him laughing at ME because I was mumbling. Yes, talk about irony.

I slept hard�and for a long time. I got some twelve hours of sleep last night.

I got up around 9am, showered, and organized all of my laundry. Then I called my mom, to tell her I was on my way. We made a deal - I could do ALL of my laundry at her place, if I helped her today. I thought that I was going to be packing, but I ended up running Poppy & Nico around, for various (and all mostly unsuccessful) errands.

Anyway, today was domestic. It was wonderful, to spend time with my son. Nico continues to amaze me. He is the spitting image of his father.

 

 

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