10:35 a.m. - Nov. 01, 2002
Eltin...Doug...Eltin...Doug
Correspondence between Doug and I this week...
Tuesday, Oct 29 - my e-mail to him - Subject line: Monsoon...and 100 Things
Good morning, Doug!
Greetings from the Monsoon State of Texas :) What a storm last night, eh? Funny thing is that this morning is just beautiful ~ no hint that there was a fairly significant storm last night. But, that's Texas.
I wanted to thank you for a delightful evening last night. It was so wonderful, to sit there with the door open & the storm dancing all around us, and converse over a nice bottle of wine and some yummy Thai food. It has been a pleasure meeting you and getting to know you. I look forward to more of the same...
I'll forward you the Evite to my Freedom Barbeque Party for Nov 9th. Hope you can make it!
I want to share something with you. It was inspired by a woman I met thru my online journal. I stumbled across her journal when I discovered a part of the site that contains surveys. Hundreds of people have created hundreds of surveys on just about everything you can imagine. It was a bit overwhelming at first, seeing all those surveys, wanting to take one, and not knowing where to begin. So I clicked randomly. The survey I found contained some thought-provoking questions. So I took the survey and then read bits of the journal from the person that created the survey. Within this woman's journal, she created a list of "100 Things About Me." It was fascintaing stuff, really. So I sat down that evening and created my own list. And that's what I want to share with you. But - remember - I said that you "must" reciprocate. I can't wait to read your list of 100 things. But no pressure :) Hee, hee, hee
(insert my list of "100 Things" here)
...So, Doug, I'm thinking that this is a lovely beginning for a lovely exchange.
Cheers!
Michelle
Response from Doug on Tuesday, Oct 29:
ola michelle. tu eres muy bonita senorita...
that's quite the challenge. a hundred things, huh? that'll be interesting.
but you have to give me some time - say a week or so - and i can put it
together....(no pressure she says)
sounds kinda fun actually. almost like a journal except its in point form.
hmmmmm
i had fun last night too. you're amazing. i'd like to have about 2% of
your self expression and then go on the lecture circuit. i'm really glad
that we met. your journey so far has had so many facets. you have a ton of
life experience and what i'd call texture - or depth. that's a much better word. depth. people certainly can't confuse you with a cookie cutter gal!
i love to hear about transformations and growth like you've had.
faaaaaabulous! i feel like i'm on the brink of something really life
altering too and its very cool. meeting you is playing a role - but not
sure what it is yet...
the drive to the airport was wacko. had to be several hundred cars on the
side of the beltway. abandoned! people must have said "my car can't go
through this 10 foot deep pond!" and then walked away. it was kinda spooky.
where the heck did they go in the middle of the night??
got your invite. sounds like a hell of a lot of fun - torching the happy
plastic couple. something tells me that steve, blake, et al will have no
problems finding some mischief. i'd have to say it would be a stretch for
me to come (unless you can rustle up a buddy pass). gotta save some points
for my southern soul searching journey. but if you can pull it off, i'm
there!
thanks for the note. stay tuned for the dougie top 100
doug
On Oct 30, I wrote - subject line: beautiful day
Doug,
Good morning. Lovely, delicious, exquisite weather here today. How strange...and most welcome!
Ok so I went to Sasha's last night, for a bit, to visit. We got to talking and then both realized that we have NO IDEA where you spent the night Monday night. Oh my god! I didn't mean to kick you out and make you homeless. In my mind - you only had a few miles to drive, back to the castle. Had I known that your intention was to drive all the way out to the freakin airport...oh my god! But - as Sasha said - you're a big boy and I'm sure "he's fine." Getting this e-mail from you this morning confirms that. Hallelujah.
Silly. Why didn't you just tell me?
I most certainly do not want you to think that you were not welcome - you are MOST welcome. But - in the bigger scheme of things - I was thinking (selfishly) of myself. I just want to take my time. I feel no rush and I am in no hurry. I feel a comfortable & genuine exchange going on, between us - and I don't want to "fuck it up" ('scuse the language) but would rather just take the time to "do it right" if it ends up being something that we want to do. "Something that we want to do" translates to a romantic, committed relationship...in my book.
You know where I am right now.
And I'm rambling here, aren't I?
I think you are wonderful and I want to know more about you. I look forward to receiving your "100 Things" and sharing some correspondence. My "100 Things" took me two full evenings to complete...writing nonstop though. Once I started, I really got into it and could not stop. All or nothing, full speed ahead. It was so much fun.
About the Freedom party and the buddypass...
I have no more buddypasses left. Not a single one. I gave my last two to Lisa, so she could go to Atlanta to see the Chilean BUM that doesn't deserve her - and to New York to see about art school. We are only allocated 10 buddypasses each year. It's hard to believe that I've already gone through all of mine, but I have. If I had any, I would GLADLY offer them up to you as I would love to see you at my Freedom party. But - there will be other opportunities...right?
Were you serious about your invitation for me to visit you, up there? If so, that is definitely an option.
Texture. Depth. Gee, wow. "Thank you" doesn't seem sufficient enough but is all that I can think to say...so, thank you. I am honored. And I love that word, texture. Conjures up thoughts of liquid latex. Hee, hee, hee :)
Ok - I HAVE to get to work. I have so very much to do, in anticipation of my new team's arrival. Wish me luck.
Beautiful day ~ cheers!
Michelle
So...Eltin had "another engagement" Tuesday night (which ended up being a get-together with "all of the Italians" that he knows here) and I spent the early part of the evening, at the castle with Sasha. It really was an early evening, as Sasha was exhausted and had lots to do. I went home and did a buncha nada, which was exactly what I needed.
A night off. To myself.
Wednesday night I worked til almost 7PM and then headed over to a neighborhood bar with some co-workers. Drank til 8 or so and then called Eltin. Got his v-mail and left him a message. Started to drive home...
Passed by a little coffee shop / bar that my friend owns. Decided to stop in for a drink. It was "Poetry Night." I almost left, without even walking inside the door, when I discovered this. Only because the folks that used to host this Poetry Night were assholes. I didn't really want to be surrounded by assholes. But the folks outside were nice enough, so I decided to give it a chance.
Some good readers. Two or three of them blew my mind. Drank coffee and Kahlua. Shared my pack of cigarettes with a young man that was rather odd, but good company. At 10, Eltin rang. Asked me to call him when I got home. The odd young man was the last to read. When he was done, I said my goodbyes, paid my tab, and headed home. Called Eltin around 1030. He was retiring for the evening but wanted to chat for a few minutes.
He asked me what I did Monday night because I didn't call him back. Mmmm. My mind is reeling. I don't owe him an explanation, I don't have to say anything. I can choose not to say a word or I can lie or I can tell the truth or I can...DO WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT...
But I went the route of honesty. It is what I prefer. I prefer to receive...therefore, I prefer to give honesty.
I told him about Doug coming over for dinner. He asked if Doug was interested in me. I replied, "Yes, I think so - definitely."
There was a moment of silence and then he told me that he was going to bed.
That was the end of our conversation.
Eek. A moment of guilt in my heart. But I reminded myself that I HAVE NOTHING TO BE GUILTY ABOUT.
Ergh.
