9:48 a.m. - Dec. 13, 2002
Let down again
Silence.
Still.
Not a word.
Stood up. Let down.
I can hear the excuses now. I was out with Mauro. He forced me back to the bar after dinner. It just got too late and I had a bit to drink. I meant to call you, but it got so late, I figured you just went to sleep. I was gonna call you last night, but I fell asleep. I was knockered from staying out so late, drinking, the night before.
Come on - don't be mad.
And Clint. Yes, Clint. Been promising me for a fucking month now he would help me drive out to Spring and load up the free bed that I have been given. It's always something. Something to do with Matt. Matt this. matt that. matt anything, anywhere, anytime. Always Matt.
Nothing against Matt. Clint is just dick-whipped. I gotta check with Matt first. Let me see what Matt says. Let me see what Matt wants to do. Oh I think I have plans with Matt. We are gonna...we have to, we need to, we want to ~ we. we, we, us, us, us, Matt, Matt, Matt...
So two weeks ago, Clint specifcally committed to helping me this coming weekend. When I reconfirmed with him, he started in again with the, "Matt, Matt, Matt" shit again. I cannot believe (oh, yes I can) that he made a commitment to help me...and then bagged. Again.
He said - call me if you want to do it on Thursday night. I'm open every night this week, if you want to do it after work. Call me. I'm free. Let's go get the bed. So I called him yesterday (Thursday). And I left him a v-mail on his cell phone. And then I went home after work and called him again - and left nother vmail for him on his home phone.
But he didn't return my call til 8:30PM...when it was too late. Of course - same excuse as last time I left him a vmail when I needed his help - I didn't get your message in time. You should've called me at (insert location here - whetther it be for me to call him at home, instead of work...or to call him at work instead of on his cell phone).
Whatever.
When he called me back, I didn't answer my phone. I let it go to vmail. I wasn't answering my phone last night. And in his vmail back to me, Clint acted as if I were in the wrong AGAIN. If only I had called him at work instead of his cell phone, he would've gotten the message and it would've been early enough in the evening...and we could've gotten the bed. But I fucked up. Again.
Ok - why does he have vmail if he doesn't use it? Or if it doesn't work? There is always a problem with him retrieving vmail messages when they are from me.
So this week I have been let down by two men in my life that I care deeply about.
No, Eltin did not call last night. No e-mail, no phone call, no v-mail, no note on the door, begging forgiveness. No fucking nada.
But today is Friday. And it is downright beautiful ~ a bit chilly still ~ but beautiful just the same. And it's Friday. End of another long work week. Meetings are over. My presentation has been given. I have Monday off. Takin off for a three-day weekend. Getting a new car tomorrow. Going to Sasha for a holiday tree-trimming party and gift-o-rama tomorrow night.
I think I'll try to put my own tree up on Sunday or Monday.
Hooray for Fridays...and three day weekends!!!
