4:24 p.m. - Dec. 20, 2002
The "almost" break up Part 2
As I was saying...
I held nothing back. We had a long, open, honest, vulnerable, loving, respectful conversation.
And we agreed to be 100% completely honest with one another about everything. We agreed to talk about our feelings - the good and the bad and the ugly and the beautiful. We agreed to discuss and decide together what would be best for both of us, moving forward. We agreed that we did not know where this was headed but that we were both open to finding out. We will continue...and we will just see what happens.
It was an incredible conversation and an incredible exchange. It was so fucking real and so fucking beautiful...but it was not easy. For either of us.
And I do understand and I do know that this isn't easy for him either. He doesn't wantto be in this situation. But he does love both of us. And I do truly believe him. Eyes don't lie. Body language does not lie. My instincts tell me that he is 100% completely honest with me wen he tells me that he is in love with me. Earlier in the week, he looked me deep in the eyes and became very serious when he told me, "Michelle, you are more important to me thatn you will ever know."
So...the adventure continues to unfold.
I am not blind. I am not stupid. I am not gullible in this. I simply accept what the universe has presented me. It is a divine blessing, to have him in my life.
So.....................
So............................
So............................
We're getting together tonight. His last night in the year 2002 here in Texas, with me. He'll spend Christmas and new Years with HER in Milan.
And he'll return January 5th.
And he won't call.
I've noticed a pattern and I feel that I understand it now. I've notived that he needs 24 hours between HER and me. God, that just sounds WEIRD. Hell, it IS weird! But I fully understand and I do not falt him and I, once again, accept this.
I have an amazing capacity for love.
