8:44 a.m. - Mar. 28, 2002
Peace in the Philly again
New shelves in my closet, how wonderful! Mark came over tonight and put up a rod & custom shelves, for my clothes. I am so thrilled! I finally have a REAL closet!!! (You would have to live here, in this space, without closets, to understand how completely amazing this moment is for me) I HAVE A REAL CLOSET NOW. It�s just about 10:30PM�and Mark just left. The shelves are genius. Dave and I are both equally impressed with Mark�s handywork. (I think that Dave is just impressed with Mark, generally)�
I�m psyched that tomorrow�s Friday � and I have an adventure planned, with Philly, after work.
I am over the anger and over the hurt. I took a Philly vacation�it was good, and it was necessary. I�ve gotten to the point now, where I just feel sad, not having him in my life. When I got over the anger, an empty sadness moved in. I began to really miss him. I felt an empty space in my life, where he used to be. I began to feel like the only way to make things RIGHT in this world is to make things right with him. He�s my Russian Circus brother, after all.
I�ve missed him so much. No matter what � he�s still my brother, and I still love him. With him (and with Sasha), I have found an unconditional love. And Philly and I have a sweet bond. Yes, he pisses me off � and damn, he can be so self-centered � but that�s all a part of what it means to be Philly. To know him, is to love him.
So, I e-mailed Philly yesterday, to see if he wanted to come over to the Treehouse, to hang with me, just the two of us. He already had plans with Roger. We were going to get together tonight, but I already made plans with Mark, for my closets (yes, I double-booked myself). We e-mailed each other a bit today - and made plans for a short road trip together, to the beach, tomorrow night.
The plan is to drive to Galveston, and take the ferry over to Boliver. Philly�s getting firewood tomorrow, and going to pack us a little cooler of treats. It will be really wonderful, to have a fire on the beach, at a full moon. It should be a really great time. I am SO looking forward to this.
(I am going to do the happy dance now�)
