11:06 a.m. - Nov. 01, 2002
The Cook, the Thief, His Wife and Her Lover
Doug...Eltin...Doug...Eltin update:
E-mail to Doug yesterday, Halloween:
...you guys celebrate Halloween, up there?
Looking forward to trick-or-treating tonight. My sister's little ones are going as 1. Chris (the oldest) Harry Potter 2. Matt (2nd oldest) the Wizard 3. Nicholas, aka Nikki (3rd born) as Bob the Builder and...I have no idea what the tiniest of all, Noah (less than a year old) will be dressed as, but I'm sure he'll be in costume as well.
Perhaps my sister will be recycling the little pumpkin costume that Nikki wore last year.
I think my son, Nico, is still planning on dressing as a Punk Rocker. At school (he goes to a Private Catholic school) they only allowed the children this year to dress as celebrities. Now - what kind of message does THAT send? :) My little trickster said that he should go as Marilyn Manson. That's my boy - always questioning authority and pushing the envelope. Wonder where he gets that from? :)
My sister, my mother and myself usually just don a pair of cat ears and go as kitty meows. Its easy.
Anyways - I just wanted to drop you a line to say hello. Work is still nuts. I have 3 people starting here tomorrow and I'm still trying to get my hands on equipment for them. Eek! So - I better go...
Until next time...
Ciao beautiful,
Michelle
So - I went trick-or-treating around my sister's home last night, with all the children. Finished up around 8 or so. Called Eltin - he sounded really happy to hear from me. Really happy. Made plans to meet at his place and go to dinner. We headed over to a local pub for drinks and dinner.
And we had a nice little talk. He admitted being jealous, over the news of Doug. But then he said that it was a good thing...because it made him realize how much that I am a part of his life...and how important I am to him...and how much he wants me to remain in his life.
We rented a movie and curled up on his sofa for the remainder of the evening. It was freakin wonderful, it really was.
Sweet, soft, snuggle.
And this morning was glorious, as well. Sweet, soft, snuggle. Barley coffee on my way out the door...dancing all the way...
Last night he asked me, "So - do you want to spend the next four nights together?"
Funny. I laughed. And I agreed that it was a lovely idea.
Indeed.
(So...in my heart, nothing has really changed. I love him but know that there is no future with him. I will not deny myself any opportunity to experience what life might bring to me. I will keep my eyes and ears and my heart open.)
Today brings him. And I accept.
This morning, as well (Friday), there was an e-mail from Doug - which must've been written yesterday / last night:
michelle my belle...
i was wondering if you and steve would put your magnum p.i. hats on and
figure out that i was a ramblin' man on monday. well, its a long a sordid
tale (not really, but I can embellish, no?)
in truth i was disappointed about leaving your place. i understand your
situation and know that jumping into something would might have been
complicated. that being said, a nice snuggle (that's spooning, not getting
naked) before flying would have been icing on the cake of a stellar weekend.
but alas, it was not too be.
given the recreational substances floating in my system, i didn't have the
skills at my disposal to do any debating (things other than booze seem to stunt my verbal skills). it sounded like your mind was made up so i let it
be. if i was a bit more coherent, i would have mentioned that it would be
rude to wake up steve at midnight and then again at 5AM and can i crash on
your couch. except you don't have one. damn. how about a bubble mat for
the floor? a couple of cushions? i'll take anything. (the bottom line is
that you were speaking your mind and i was not.)
either way, no worries mate. i still think you're swell. we'll have
plenty of future opportunities to hang out. :)
soooo, i'm a little pooped and headin' to bed....but wanted to clear up
monday. its all cool...
text to you soon
doug
p.s. hope you had fun tonite with the scary munchkins (yes we do celebrate
halloween - except i don't have any ankle biting relatives in town, so no
trick'r' treatin' fer me)
p.p.s. too bad about the buddy pass. maybe you can partake in the november
vancouver jaunt instead
p.p.p.s. yes the calgary offer is always open (you may want to wait until
july though! brrrrrr)
p.p.p.p.s. the dougie top 100 is being worked on (subconsciously of course)
adios amiga
And ya know - I was disappointed in this e-mail...but, at the same time, a bit relieved. His e-mail seemed so generic and without whisper of any of the "spark" that seemed to be present when we were together this past weekend. And "Dougie"??? What the hell is THAT? Eeky ooh.
As I told Eltin last night as we were drifitng off to sleep, "You know my heart belongs to you..."
