2:48 p.m. - Feb. 16, 2007
Deprived
This has been a somewhat difficult day. Henry seems to be off his schedule today, maybe because of the new Lab School we attend together every Thursday morning now ~ it corresponds with his normal morning naptime, so he misses it. When he gets home, he's exhausted and will take a nap, but it seems to be messing up our Fridays. This is the 2nd week we've attended. And this is the 2nd week where he refuses to take his morning nap at the normal time. I did eventually get him down this morning, but it was a whole hour later than normal. Now he is struggling to settle down for an afternoon nap as well. Not only that but he has been nonstop fussy today. He's teething. He's got two teeth now. One is just above the gumline, still working its way up. I know it's bothering him. I gave him some Tylenol, an hour and a half ago, but he is still awake and still rather fussy. He normally takes an afternoon nap around 1pm. It is now almost 3pm. I desperately need a break.
But the reason I wanted to write was because I am feeling blue today. Not only the constant fussing and lack of napping from Henry, but also we were up several times throughout the night. But not only just that, either. I won't write this in my blog, the blog that all of my friends family read ~ I'll write it here, where I am more anonymous. But dammit, I am feeling almost depressed from the lack of fucking sex. Can I just say that!???? Fucking A I need FUCKING SEX. And I want, more than anything, for my husband to initiate it. I don't want to have to ask for it. I don't want to have to remind him that we haven't had sex in over a month now. I don't want to have to keep telling him that I need sex more than once a month ~ or worse, sometimes ~ once every two months. We talk about it. We agreee that it isn;t healthy. We agree that we want to have sex, but we don;t. Ok yes, we have a 10 month old baby now and can no longer do whatever we want whenever we want, but we still have plenty of time...I mean, Henry sleeps 12 hours a night! And ian usually gets home from work around 5. I say fuck dinner...I would rather go hungry and have sex than to wait for him to spend two hours in the kitchen, watch a television show together while we eat and then go to bed. I need sex! I miss it. I have no idea how it has come to this. We used to have sex every night. When I got pregnant, we stopped having sex when I was about 3 or 4 months along. He just couldn't do it. Afraid of all the things "going on down there." Well let me tell you ~ there is NOTHING going on down there anymore.
My husband hasn't (excuse the term) gone down on me in two years. In fact, I can't even remember exactly when the last time was.
I miss french kissing. I want him to THROW ME DOWN, grope me, kiss me, take me.
But instead, I grope him to no avail...I ask him for sex, to no avail...
Henry is crying. Not sleeping. If he would just please fall asleep and take a nap....hell even just a 20 minute nap...I would be good. I'd run upstairs as fast as I could and masterbate.
Yes, it has come to this.
Where are my sex toys?
