4:06 p.m. - Sep 17, 2001
Scarlett Hussy
I didn't realize that I was having so much sex...wow, I wish someone would've told me.
A friend of mine called today. He said that Walter had called him and point-blank asked him if he was having sex with me. Unbelievable.
This friend couldn't fathom why Walter would ask him this. "Dude, that's your wife...and I thought that we were friends. Why would you think that?" Walter then admitted that he had called Nikki. Nikki was my friend that I had to break up with.
Walter knows why I couldn't be friends with Nikki any longer. Here, I'll put it on paper - at least, the condensed version. Nikki is a very jealous and insecure girl. She felt threatened by another friendship that I had. She acted mean and spiteful to this friend. She refued to attend my surprise birhtday party last year if this other friend of mine attended. Bullshit junior highschool shit. Walter was put in the position of having to choose between my friends. He knew that Nikki was my very bestest friend in the whole wide world, so he chose her. When I found out, I told Walter how disappointed I was. Nikki should not be given the power to choose my friends. If that's the way that she feels, then she should step out of the picture. I couldn't be friends with someone that had so much hate in their heart. We haven't spoken to each other in almost a year. Walter told me that I was too hard on my friends - that It was "all or nothing" with me.
Damn it. I love Nikki and we have been friends for many years. But, she doesn't forgive and she hold grudges. She can be downright mean. I simply don't want someone in my life that will treat me like that.
Flash to June of this year. I got a phone call out of the blue. A friend had been "kinda seeing Nikki" when she suddenly wouldn't return his calls. They hadn't gotten into a fight or anything. She just up and stopped speaking to him. One day this friend called Nikki, and her ex deadbeat boyfriend answered the phone. They were getting married @ Zilker Park (in Austin) in three hours. Wow. This friend was shocked because he had been seeing her...and she had denied seeing ex deadbeat boyfriend. She had lied to him and he felt betrayed. He didn't want anything to do with her. I was so shocked that Nikki was getting married that I called her mom. Her mom had NO IDEA that her daughter was getting married because they hadn't talked in SEVERAL months. That she had no relationship with her daughter any longer because Nikki was so abusive - verbally and physically to her. Then she said that she did know that Nikki was 5 moths pregnant. Jeez. She was pregnant with Ben's baby while she was seeing my friend and lying to him about it. Guess she stopped seeing him when she started to "show."
I realized that Nikki was pregnant, getting married to a boy that had broked her heart countless times already, and was alone without the love & support of her family. I've been pregnant and alone without the support of my family and I knew how she must feel. I know how scary it is. I wanted to comfort her, offer my support - I wanted to rush to her side, to tell her that I love her and that I would stand by her if she needed me. I jumped in the car and drove to Austin. She saw me, snubbed me, and refused my friendship. She was just awful to me. I cried and cried and cried.
Now this girl (Nikki) is telling my soon-to-be-ex-husband that I am in love with (insert friend's name here) and wouldn't be surprised if we were fucking - or whatever. I'm really not sure of the exact words. When (insert friend's name here) heard this, he said that he couldn't believe that Walter was listening to the words of someone that had knowingly deceived so many people...
And then Walter said something about me also having a lesbian lover in my Yoga class. Unfortunately, this is also untrue.
Think what you want, Walter. Unfortunately, if you continue to look outside of yourself and the problems that we, as a couple, were having...and if you continue to refuse partial responsibility for the end of our marriage, then you are damned to repeat these negative patterns.
Damn, I wish that I did have a lesbian lover.
