4:35 p.m. - Jan. 28, 2002
Chapter Four
Chapter Four.
After their rehearsal, I told Adam that I wanted to see his place. No plans, no hesitation, no expectations. He drove me there.
Giving me the tour, we stopped in the kitchen and he handed me a stack of photographs. There were pictures of him throughout the years � pictures of him as a young boy, a young man, in all stages of his life. I felt like I had been dipped into the rich, deep pool of his life.
I handed the photographs back to him and thanked him for sharing them with me.
�Oh no, those are for you to keep.�
I was completely floored. What an amazing gift. Romantic in a way that is so beyond romantic.
Completely comfortable in his space, we retired to his room. I wanted my mouth on him. He got up to go to the kitchen, to get me some water. I followed him. He didn�t make it to the kitchen unscathed. I wrapped my arms around him, and writhed up and down his backside, worshipping that incredible ass of his. And do you know what he did? Jeezus, hold me down because I�m about to come out of my skin here. But, he spread his legs WIDE and leaned over, in �assume the position� pose. He completely surrendered his ass to me. Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!
Ok, maybe I was just a bit gun-shy, ya know? I could have SO had more of that ass than I took, but it was exactly what I needed. I just took a little bit.
We made it to the kitchen together. He grabbed the water out of the fridge. But, when he went for a glass, I told him there wasn�t any need for all of that. I just grabbed the water and his hand, and began to lead him back to the bedroom. Adam, however, had other ideas. He just bent down, picked me up in his arms, and inhaled me. He kissed me with his entire body and again the world went black. We made love right there, in the kitchen, standing up. He set me down on the countertop and we went after it again and again and again. His mouth on me, I spread my legs as far as they would go. I found myself hanging halfway off of the counter, completely supported by his body, his arms, his face. I closed my eyes in total surrender. At this moment, his tiny bat-like cat, Phoebe crawled across my neck. It was the most incredibly odd and strangely sensual feeling. Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!
At some point, we were back in the bedroom again. We just made love, off and on, in between our conversations & tears, all night long. We slept in each other�s arms.
The next morning we woke up before sunrise, made love again, and drifted off back into a delicious sleep. We rolled out of bed sometime in the late morning / early afternoon. We had a leisurely breakfast and then stopped by the hotel so I could get a change of clothes. We were headed to Key Largo to watch the sunset.
Back to the hotel, Adam�s back was hurting him. What is my answer to everything in this life?
Yoga.
I told him that he should lie in Savasana / Dead Man�s Pose. He asked me to help him get into position and to watch over him while he meditated.
�It would be my honor.� And it truly was.
While he lay there, we were connected, Root Chakra to Crown Chakra - not really touching, but definitely connecting. I ran my hands ever so lightly over him, touching him very gently while I watched him drift off. Like myself, when he travels, Adam�s eyes open ever so slightly, rolling a bit back into his head. I could see that he was far away. My heart swelled. I felt tears behind my eyes, again. I wanted to tell him how much I was in love with him.
I whispered to him, just barely audible, �Have no fear. There is no room for fear.� Was I saying this for his sake, or for mine? My ego, my logical mind began to put a tiny bit of fear into my heart. I started to think, �I am gonna scare the hell out of this man if I tell him how I�m feeling. He�s gonna think I�m psychotic.�
About 10 minutes later, Adam�s eyes fluttered awake. He looked up at me as if he had just had a vision. He was still in the process of returning, but he looked at me and said, in amazement, �I now know what unconditional love is.�
My heart skipped a beat. I was unable to speak.
I leaned over, kissed his belly, and mumbled, �Yes you do.�
We lay down on the bed and I curled up against him. My mouth was on his face, near his mouth. I took a breath of his into my mouth, into my lungs, down into my body. Each breath deeper into my soul, I felt the words. I felt the tears. I felt the safety of this moment, so brave.
He looked deep into my eyes and said, �Speak.�
I looked back into his eyes and quietly whispered, �I love you.�
He very simply said, without skipping a beat, �I�m in love with you.�
And we cried. And we held each other. And we laughed.
